Today I’d like to share something, perhaps it’s a little TMI… but here goes!
Sometime early this year, I got some very strange things going on with my body, and the sudden surge in acne, weight, mood swings (and lack of a monthly visitor, and no, it wasn’t ‘cause I was pregnant), which made me run to the doctor immediately, where I was diagnosed with PCOS.
It was heartbreaking, to say the least. A lot of women with PCOS actually start to suffer from depression because of the symptoms… which I totally understand. Tell me, what woman would want such an extreme change in their appearance and unbelievable mood swings?! (And yes, that sudden purge of acne did result in that nasty glycolic acid nightmare of mine.) In some worse cases than mine, my doctor said some woman actually grow beards and develop male balding because of the hormonal imbalance! I really thank God that after a few months of observation and scans, it was just a PCOS scare. I didn’t have it in the end, scans show I was free of cysts. Praise God. I do, however, have a hormonal imbalance/some insulin resistance thingy that is slowly coming under control. However, there’s one thing that I am really not happy about: my weight.
Imagine waking up one morning and releasing you put on 4 kgs. I don’t weight myself, but I woke up and couldn’t fit into my favorite jeans, so I quickly ran to my parent’s scale in their bathroom. I realized that from the year before I weighed myself, I had put on 4 kg. Hmm, I think. Maybe I’m growing up and my metabolism is slowing down – no biggie. Then fast forward to almost 2 months, and it’s 12 kgs. I’d look in the mirror and my face looked bloated. I couldn’t understand it – I put on 12 kgs (26 lbs) doing absolutely nothing.
That’s when the explosion of acne came, and when I ran to the doc. He explained that the weight was due to my body becoming insulin resistance due to hormonal imbalance, which means instead of doing what it’s supposed to do, sugar just get converted to fat straight away. The acne, moods swings and lack of period was all because I didn’t have enough ‘female’ hormones. Luckily, acne can be covered in makeup, but I still felt so self-concious about it – makeup can only cover so much. I had mixed feelings about the weight, starting off with me cursing my ‘new’ body but after awhile I kinda accepted it and started to buy bigger clothes. But when I saw recent photos of me at the screening of the MTV EMA bloggers party (below), I cringed. My face looks unrecognizable and I look so uncomfortable.
Image: MTV Asia
Now, the emotions I once felt when it first happened have come back. I just don’t feel (or look) like myself. This new body shape of mine is just one big shock. Yes, I promote body confidence on Beauty Fool, and I still think that girl’s should accept their natural body shape and love them. However, this is not my natural body shape; this is an unfortunate side effect from a health issue and I want ‘me’ back. 
I am only human… Admit it, you would freak out too if we went up 2 sizes in less than 2 months! I still love my body – it has been good to me, despite what has happened – but I would like to get my confidence back. At the end of the day, everyone has the right to change something if they really want to. I do think I was too skinny before, so I can afford to keep some of the weight on, but I would at least like half of it off, so I can fit my clothes again and feel like myself. I thank God it wasn’t as serious as full-on PCOS (because I read up and it’s very scary) but I just want to put this whole fiasco behind me.
So my plan is to start losing a bit of weight, but in a healthy way (my doc recommended I do too, as it can tell him how “serious” my insulin resistance is). It’s gonna be 3 times harder because of it, but I won’t go crazy – I respect my body. I’m gonna start by doing some exercise and eat healthy. I started to make some changes in my food choices last year, but of course I’ve slipped… again, I’m human! But I see how my Dad’s health is now and I need to make a change. He is paying BIG TIME for all the junk food, partying and complete lack of exercise and the lifestyle he had when he was younger. Even if I don’t lose as much weight as I’d like, this can only be beneficial for me. I want to get healthy, I want to get fit, but most of all, I want to feel like myself again.
To anyone who’s reading… have you ever had health issues that made a drastic change in your appearance? How did you deal with it?
UPDATE: It’s all over! Check out my post Goodbye PCOS!
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{ 43 comments… read them below or add one }
Aww Renee… I honestly wanted to give you a big hug while reading this..
So relieved it wasn’t PCOS too..
Hmm I can understand about the weight thing. I’ve never really had a major problem with it as I’m pretty slim, but I have been gaining weight quicker these days (most probably due to slowing metabolism) and the first place the fat goes is my face. Great.. the first place people look (mostly). I was (and still kinda am) absolutely self-conscious about this, especially when looking at photos of myself with my friends and dying inside at how much I hated the way it made me look. But it’s partly genes so there’s only so much you can change about it. I’ve also tried to exercise too at the gym, but haven’t been for 3 weeks due to exams.. but I have to say it has made me feel better inside and out as it is a really good and healthy habit to get into, so I hope it will do the same for you!
I’ve also experienced some serious acne too during high school (thanks dad!), and still have pimples now on top of the scars, blackheads, etc. etc. So I completely agree that makeup can only cover so much.. even less so when you don’t want to look like a cake face. I’m also the only one out of my circle of friends who actually still gets pimples, so it’s definitely something I’m self-conscious about.
You look beautiful in the picture, really, so don’t beat yourself about it too much. I know when people say that to me, I find it really hard to believe and think they’re just saying that to be nice, but people view things differently from our eyes, so I think people who genuinely care for you (like your readers
:P lol sorry!) will tell you the truth 
I am totally with you on the eating healthy and exercising thing! It’s hard as hell to control how much junk food you eat, which I think is still acceptable (just in small amounts
), but you just have to really motivate yourself and have self-control. I also write down how much exercise I do in my diary as I like to see how much exercise I’ve done, and I’ve read it’s a good way to motivate yourself, despite it being a little lame… Maybe you can try that too 
I don’t keep food diaries as I’m too lazy, but that’s also something you could do.
I hope you will start to feel better about all this! A lot of us go through similar things, so know you are not alone and we can all support and motivate each other
Maybe next time I’ll just email you before commenting a mini essay..
Wow Samantha, how could I ever thank you for this comment?! Thanks so much for taking the time to write to me. I really appreciate it. Thanks for your encouragement.
I hope you are feeling better about yourself. I know I’ve only seen two pictures of you but you are absolutely stunning, you have a very sexy look
It is funny you say that you say the fat goes to your face first… same here! I never knew it because I’ve never put on weight before, as I’ve always been naturally slim. BIg shock for sure! Oh and not forgetting my thighs and bum. It is so strange… my arms, legs and waist is still the same, but now I have a huge ass and big cheeks, haha! So the proportions look strange. If only some of the weight went to my flat chest, LOL!
Exercise and food diary sounds really great, thanks for the tip! I started to do that today
I am also gonna weight myself daily as well, hopefully I won’t get too obsessed but I want to do this the proper way and see how my results are going! Another doc of mine said I can take pills for my insulin resistance but they are VERY strong, and I refused because it sounds like bad news… I’d rather it take longer to lose the weight and do it the safe way!
Thanks so much for your kind message, Sam. Haha, it’s so true… your friends and whatnot can still tell you that you look great but you would never believe it. I don’t think I’m ugly or anything but I just don’t look like myself
Thanks for being such a great friend! And don’t worry about the long comment, I truly appreciate it.
Thank you Samantha
I hope you start to feel better about yourself too, I am here to support you as well! I will try to write more skincare to help you and others with acne… I know how heartbreaking it is. I had in in my early teens and it went away, but when this happened once again I remembered how awful acne felt and how it affected my self esteem. Feel free to email me if you ever need to talk. 
<3<3<3
Though I do think you look rather good in that picture, I find your reaction is completely normal. After all it’s not really about the gain of weight but what a big change it is; and its NO FUN not fitting in your clothes anymore … I’ve had the occasional ups & downs in my weight, but never too drastically.
Thank you, Anais (lovely name
) True, it is just a big shock and I can’t believe it still. I literally cannot fit ONE THING in my wardrobe (for the bottom, tops are OK so far, ’cause all the weight went to my bum, thighs and face!) , so I had to buy new jeans and whatnot. Very saddening 
Hi Renee,
I used to weigh a lot more when I was in school mostly due to my poor eating habits and lessened physical activities — books and essays took hold of my life. I have slowly lost all the excess weight but I do know how you feel about gaining all that weight. I just didn’t feel like my normal self and was really insecure so I hid it all underneath sweats.
Id say youre on the right track.. Becoming more physically active I helped me from gaining even more during school. I’m actually doing a post on fitness and health so I hope that can help you out a little.
Sending some positive vibes from Toronto
)))
And I think you look lovely:)
Thanks so much, Mary. You are so wonderful! I am glad you are feeling better about yourself… I guess every woman has had, in some time of the other, some kind of weight ‘issue’ in their lives. In a way this is good, because at least I am getting to exercise and eat right, which everyone should be doing anyway. Maybe this was a good kick in the butt from God
I look froward to your health and fitness posts! I am sure I will also be posting about it here and hthere and about my journey to (hopefully!) being myself and feeling great again!
Thanks for your comment, Mary. Really am glad to have met you… how long have we been talking now?! At least a year, no?
Yeah I think a year and a few months. Belated Happy Anniversary!
LOL!
Happy Anniversary, girlfriend!
Renee, I think you’re still beautiful. And don’t even worry, you don’t have NEARLY as much acne as I do!!!
Thank you so much, Kich!
I suffered from acne when I was around 14-19 years old so I do know how acne felt! Heartbreaking… But it started to go away when I was 19 so I was happy, then of course this happened and it came back again. I am not joking… 300 pimples on my face, for real! I hope your acne will get better… how old are you? I am sure it will ‘die’ down once you leave the teen years, like it did for me. It’s all about hormones! Wish you all the best! 
Thanks!! (:
Hi!
! ) And no antibiotics or creams did anything to help! So eventually at the beginning of Summer ’09 my doctor put me on the pill (I had figured my skin issues were to do with hormones more than anything else). Great stuff, or not as it turned out! After three weeks my skin was no better and I had gone up two clothes sizes! I was devastated! I mean I would never have called myself skinny (I was a UK size 10) so going to a size 14 made me so sad! This all happened right before I went on holiday with my (all rather slim) friends. I was so embarrassed! And I have always eaten healthily (most of the time) and gone to the gym, so it really seemed unfair! This was also the Summer before I started university… sad times!
Ohmygod, PCOS is scary stuff! I’m so glad for you that you didn’t have it!
I know how you feel about the weight gainand acne! I have had acne since I was about 13/14 (face/back/arms
A year and a bit later I’m a size 12 and still struggling to loose the weight! (for about 9 months after I started on the pill my body refused to give up that extra fat… grrr silly hormones!) And my skins is so so so much better! But like I said my battle with my weight is sill ongoing and I am definitely finding it more difficult to loose than I did before! When it comes down to it though, I think I would rather have the clear skin and be a bit bigger than I would rather, than be thin and spotty
I completely understand how you feel, rapid weight gain, and not having any jeans to fit is heartbreaking! But then sometimes, you see someone who is morbidly obese, someone with a serious disability and I think, my problems aren’t so big really, they just seem that way to me!
You look really beautiful in that photo
Kat Xx
Hey Kat, thanks for your lovely comment!
<3
I can totally imagine how you feel. Size 12 seems quite small, but I am not so sure how that converts here. I am so, so glad you can see the big picture. You are really wise
Because really, at the end of the day, weight doesn’t matter if you’re still within a healthy range. But at the same time, I understand it is upsetting, so we must do it the healthy way.
I am glad your skin is so much better! You’re right, for me, too, I would be more upset about my skin
Thanks Kat, you look really cute in your picture, though it’s small I can see your beauty! I will check out your blog now
xx
Hope you’re ok. PCOS sounds quite scary, so I’m sending positive thoughts your way.
I totally agree with you when you talk about the difficulties of body confidence.
As a 16 year old at an all girl school body image is quite a big deal, so I’m really thankful that I go to an amazing school with an amazing year group.
Because I’ve always been a larger girl (not obese, but still larger than healthy) and nothing I do seems to help.
I’ll be eating healthy and exercising every day and I still wouldn’t lose any weight. And I know people always talk about fat converting to muscle but that wasn’t the case with me, as i could and still can see myself getting larger slowly but surely. I doesn’t help that I really struggle with acne. But that’s something that I have under control now. Thanks heavens. So now I’m just waiting for the scars to clear up.
I’ve talked to some professionals and it seems that I just have an amazingly slow metabolism. I can go all day on just a mild breakfast and not get hungary.
In the upcoming school holidays I’m probably going to see a dietician so hopefully that will help.
But I’ve got nothing on you.
All the best.
Hi Emma. Thank you
I guess all women go through something with our body, damn! All part of life! I hope the dietician goes well and hopefully you feel more confident. I think it’s best to look at your parents – it’s all genes, so I think if what you see in your parents you can expect and hopefully accept.
Yeah, your face does look different. I completely agree with you on the body image thing. It doesn’t mean that people who are naturally curvy should try to be a stick, just that people should be healthy. And right now, as you said yourself. You’re not healthy. I have low thyroid and work out 4-6 hours a week just to maintain my weigh because the thyroid problem makes me gain it so fast.
Thanks, Johanna. Sorry to hear about your thyroid problem.
Both my parents have it, so my dad puts on weight a lot and my mom can never put on weight! They have both extremes… I hope you are doing well. And you’re so right, this is about health more than anything. If the weight gain was due to us just growing up or it’s in our genes, then that’s great and you should accept it. But if it’s health issues or starts to become dangerous (either by being too overweight or too underweight) then I think something should be done!
I think…if you did accepted yourself before…you should accept you now…if not it would be a little hipocr. talking about accept oneself…
Honestly I like your face now…it’s beautiful and I don’t think you look fat…
I hate mode and I hate people that think/say/tell if you’re not skinny you’re not beautiful…
Come on you’re not beautiful. no…just BEAUTIFUL…look at your face…those eyes…those lips…come on girl! you didn’t lose a leg, a hand, an arm…you can see, you can hear and you can talk, walk….. so please enjoy and be happy because life is too short…
it’s a pity you don’t realize now because you’re all are too young…but look skinny or not is not important for anything…why are women be skinny? because of men? ERROR mode? ERROR!!!!! one thing is when you’re 200 lbs (aprox. 100 kg) …ok in that case is your health…but some lbs don’t have to be dangerous or bad at all…you’ll see with time how it was a worth of time… just accept yourself because you’re really lucky…
But of course, if you want lo lose some lbs go on! but do it for a really worthy reason…and if you don’t care…take a look at that
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtxANzN2Woo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4um8qubQh0
If he can…
Take care beauty!!!
Hi Ida,
Thanks for your comment!
I do accept myself, but like I said this body is from a health problem, it’s not my natural body. If I just gained weight because I’m just growing up and becoming a woman or whatever, of course I would accept it! I accepted it when I first started gaining weight, I thought it was just my metabolism slowing down and I thought that was fine. It was only after I saw it was so rapid and the other symptoms came that I knew it was a health problem. I did a lot of research on my condition and people with insulin resistance is advised to lose weight and exercise because that will help kick start the insulin… if it is left alone there is risk for diabetes, obesity, etc. So me wanting to lose weight is not because I want to look “skinny” because of men, it’s more to feel better about myself and get my health back to normal. As I wrote in the post, I felt I was too skinny before so this is not about being skinny. I want maybe just a few kg off to get my health and body back in order, don’t think I’m being hypocritical. :/
And thanks for your kind comment! And for the links to Youtube… I am just doing it the healthy way, by cutting out junk food and doing moderate exercise… nothing extreme, don’t worry, I am still taking care of my body!
I’ve been wondering lately if I have PCOS but I only have some of the symptoms of it – weight gain, hair loss, acne, etc. I am pretty sure I don’t have it, though. Weight gain – I was always thin but gained weight in the last few years that I cannot get rid of! I also had bad adult acne for a few years, but I was able to cure myself of that. And hair loss – that’s definitely the worst of all of the problems for me. It’s a horrible shock to start seeing your body change for the worst. The good thing that’s come out of all my problems is that it’s forced me to become healthier. In attempt to cure my weight and hair, I’ve lowered my cholesterol, I feel healthier, and I am hoping to prevent Diabetes, which runs in my family.
Hey Jen… hmmm. That does sound a bit like it! This is SO personal, haha but are you getting your period? If you’re not then you should go to the doctor asap. I didn’t get mine for 5 months so that plus the extreme weight and acne made me see something is wrong.
Diabetes run in my family too, so I think it’s great that this is making your become healthier… We really need to take care of ourselves now, or we will regret it big time when we are older (like my Dad).
I’m on the pill for my hair and skin and have never had a period problem – that’s the main reason I don’t think I have PCOS. And I don’t have extra body hair. I think it’s just genetics in my case that’s causing the hair loss. And between the pill, Differin, and getting rid of skin care products and makeup that were causing my acne, I have that under control. With my not being able to lose weight – it could be a borderline low thyroid, or maybe just age? I’m still working on it!
Could be age, I know it does get slowed down as we age… hmmm. Insulin resistance (like me) perhaps? :/
Hi…I used to be really slim all my life until the past 3 years i gained 2 stones which was devastating….I didnt start eating more just change in eating times slowed down my motabolism. i didnt eat during the day and eat only a meal at night…and then a late snack also the lack of exercise made it worse. however the past year i have tried to get my normal weight back and managed to lose one stone just by eating frequently and walking to places rather than going in car. also i am now uk size 10 and just need to lose a little more to become a uk size 8 which is US size 2…so i can maybe see my cheekbones because i cannot apply blusher without having to suck in my cheeks..also the main reason is just to feel healthier and avoid getting ill and last but not least increase my stamina. i did have a low thyroid scare but the 2nd blood test showed normal levels again. btw u do look nice in the photo..and nice to hear am not the only one with struggling to maintain certain weight and needs to go healthier. luckly i have never had acne problems besides the random spots when i have my period…which has stopped drastically since i cut soft drinks and have water instead…20mins exercise every other day so your body doesnt get used to it and small frequent meals should help…which is my plan for next few weeks hopefully. take care! (:
Hey Nazalia… wow, thanks for your comment! I really admire what you have done – it sounds so heartbreaking gaining all that weight. I am so glad to hear you are taking the healthy option, though! And yeah, I do think late night snacking is the WORSE because it’s empty calories… you just eat it and sleep, so it just sits there. I’ve also done a major cut down on sugar (as I have insulin resistance, this is the best) and it’s helped a lot. Been a week now and I’m losing it very slowly because my body is working against it, so I really need to step up the exercising so my levels get a good kick!
All the best to you and thanks for your comment! You are doing WONDERFUL and are such an inspiration to me.
good news!! i have lost another half a stone…feel great as ever!:):):)
Hi Renee.
Though I’m glad you don’t have PCOS, I suffer from it. It is a little scary. The lack of periods is concerning, I have to take birth control to try and regulate it. But not every pill I tried work (one made me get it for two weeks straight with intense cramps). The acne really isn’t too teribble. I few small break outs on my forehead, that’s all. I have dark hair along the upper part of my chin (by my ear). But some of the worst parts are the dark areas on my arm pits and the back of my neck. It takes a really long time to try and get rid of them. Those are caused from being insulin resistant. The weight is uncomfortable; I used to be small but when I hit puberty I blew right up. (But coming to the end of my teen years I’m starting to watch what I eat more and chose better options.) You can also become infertile from PCOS because of the cysts on the ovaries. So again I’m glad it was just a scare for you it’s a pain in the butt for those of us suffering with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.
Sorry to hear about your health scare, that must have been pretty distressing!
I think you look fantastic in both photos, and to be honest I personally can’t see that much of a visible difference between the two. However I completely understand that it’s down to how you feel inside, and at the end of the day you have to do what makes you feel happy and comfortable with yourself.
I’ve gained a lot of weight over the past 3 years, and I think I’ve been in a slight denial about it but it’s just getting out of hand now! The problem is, I love food and I absolutely hate exercising, so it’s going to be a complete uphill struggle, but I too am seriously fed up of not being able to fit into most of my clothes any more! I’d love to hear about how you get on and any tips you might have
Thank you, Cheryl.
The weight loss I want is just half of what I put on – I think I can def afford the rest! – for myself to feel better and also to kick start my insulin, or else this will get worse. There is a chance I can develop diabetes, which I do not want. It’s funny, my dad has a lot of health problems and the #1 thing all the docs say is to start exercising and lose a bit of weight. It’s amazing how extra weight, even though it’s just sitting there, can wreck so much havoc!
I will definitely be writing my tips! Hopefully, if I do lose the weight, I will write a big post on how I did it and little tips I learnt along the way. Unfortunately my dear, it does involve exercising!
I’ve been exercising and eating right the past week and half lost almost 2 kg. Would be more if my damn insulin resistance wasn’t working against me at the same time, so I think for ‘normal’ bodies this can be like 4 kg or more… it’s definitely doable, love! Maybe I can be your digital motivator to exercise? Haha. YOU CAN DO IT!!! 
I know, just a little bit of extra weight can put so much extra pressure on your body and affect your health.Yikes, that’s pretty scary about the diabetes. I know a few people who are diabetic and although it can be manageable, it has the potential to be so serious! I hope your dad is ok, and it sounds like you’re taking great steps to minimise your risk so I really hope it doesn’t develop for you!
WOW 2kg in a week! That’s amazing, especially with the insulin resistance! What kind of exercise are you doing? Ugh, I just hate exercise so much, especially now that it’s winter and it’s freezing! Maybe I should start trying to convince myself that it’s the best way to keep myself warm, but it’s so hard when the alternative is a nice snuggly blanket and a cup of hot tea! Actually, when I did used to work out a lot I didn’t mind it so much once I was doing it, it’s just working up the motivation to actually get started. Haha, thanks for the encouragement I DEFINITELY need it! I think you’d be a fab digital motivator, you’re definitely on!
Hey Renee, I’m a regular reader of Beauty Fool…Sorry to hear about the health issue you are going through. I did go through a period of time where I gained a lot of weight in a short period of time and I was abnormally exhausted constantly. I never checked it out with a doctor to find out what it was… I think I just had an unhealthy lifestyle of boozing, eating the wrong foods, and not having a consistent routine… I changed my diet (became raw vegan for awhile and now I’d say I’m vegetarian), cut the alcohol, and am more mindful of exercising and sleeping well. I’m not recommending that you do what I did because yours is a very specific hormonal problem, but I think setting up a daily routine that is full of self-love (nutritious meals, rest, focus, exercise, maybe even some meditation) can help stave off feeling depressed about your situation. You are young and I’m sure your body is strong and you will heal in time
Channeling good vibes from Tokyo to ya….
Aw thanks so much, love. Yeah, it does sound like a thyroid problem, actually… my dad has it, and he put on a ghastly amount of weight and was always so tired. But at the same time, like you said, partying and drinking and not eating well can def affect your heath in many ways. I am glad to hear you have made a lifestyle change! I too became a vegetarian (I still eat fish though) some time ago and am starting to eat right – no more nasty junk food filled with nothing but trans fat! It’s already made such a difference, and I feel less irritated and sluggish. Junk food always made me lazy as hell and tired for no reason – they’re horrible!
And thank you so much! yes, self-love is so important. I am taking long, hour long walks and the fresh air, endorphins and me moving is making me feel so much better. Exercise really is important, even short daily walks for 30 mins can do such a difference!
Thanks for the love, I really appreciate your comment. You’re so wonderful! Sending you virtual hugs from Singapore!
WOW Im so shocked!!! Thank God u dont have any cysts!!
4kg in one night? OMG, i would FREAK out. My whole life I’ve been overweight, but I’m always back and forth, which is awful. I dont consider myself fat, but im not skinny. So If I put on 3kg for me would be “normal”. But you have been super skinny your whole life I imagine, so it must be really hard since you are used to be in a certain shape and all the suddenly u start gaining weight, literally overnight!!!!! And also u were scarried by the results of your scans I think. So it’s totally normal to feel that way u are/were feeling.
It’s not about being super skinny, is about feeling good. I dont think u HAVE to accept your body now, because your whole life this is not the body u had. I would feel the same way and I dont judge you for feeling ugly or whatever, people only understand something like that when they go through. It’s very easy to point fingers and say “heyy accept who u are, dont change. Dont get anorexic”. I’m sure in your case, has nothing to do with being accepted by the society, look like a model, or because of man.
When I was younger, 15 I had severe cystic acne, for like, 2 years. My skin was awful and people were mean, and i was more overweight than I had ever been, it was a difficult time of my life, people would tell everything to me, even best friends would point me fingers and say I look bad, ugly, my skin looked awful, whatever… very hurtful. People think they can say whatever they want and judge you.
Since then I’ve been taking care of my skin and taking birth control, ONCE i stop the acne comes back badly, I’ve tried, but it’s a hormonal problem. I went to the doctor this year he said I have micro cysts, but they dissolve themselves so there’s nothing to worry about now he said. What I can say right now to you, is that if you need somebody to talk I’m here, and I support you. If you wanna lose weight, go for it, because you have the right to feel good about yourself again. Even though u still look gorgeous in that picture, everybody can tell u that (and u still look beautiful), but at the end of day it only matters if YOU really feel that way. And I hope u do feel good again =)!!!!! xoxo
ps: I love your dress in the picture u posted, I like that pattern, and black & white, gorgeous!
Deb you are such a blessing! Thank you for your lovely comment and encouragement
I wish you were in Singapore, we could hang out all the time! Haha. And yeah, it was such a shock how overnight, I couldn’t fit my jeans, because the day before I had worn it! I couldn’t understand it. I am glad I went to the doctor and figured out what happened! My skin has cleared up again (thank God!) and the symptoms are gone, just the weight is left. So I am slowly putting this ‘scare’ behind me! During this time I kept thinking I won’t be able to have children and was so depressed about that, ’cause I would really like to have kids in the future! Luckily, it seems that I can have children 
And I agree, it’s so easy to say things for other people… and me losing weight is to get myself feeling better and also because exercise and losing a but of weight will help my insulin levels to become normal again. And it’s definitely not for a man, haha, there is no man in my life!
Wow, I am shocked that your own best friends would call you ugly… WTF! That is beyond rude and I don’t think they are such good friends if they can say that. I am so sorry you had to go thru acne and being overweight. From your pics you look absolutely beautiful so you know what? Those people who were mean to you can all just shut up! I am sorry to hear you have micro cysts, but I am glad that they are not too serious. It’s great that you got a diagnosis as well so you know what’s going on! It’s very scary until you find out it’s a health issue, because while it’s happening, you’re like “what is happening to me?!” Very heartbreaking…
Deb, thank you so much for your love! I’m also hear if you ever need to talk, I SO wish we could be in the same country, haha. Lots of love my dear and thank you for being so wonderful
xoxo
And thanks about my black and white dress! It’s from American Apparel
Hi Renee,
this post really did struck a chord with me. I should start of by saying that I am totally supportive of you on this. Unlike you, I was really plump during my childhood years, from about the age of 6 or so all the way till 13. It was when I started going to a girls’ school that I began to be more conscious about what I ate and started exercising. Puberty helped too. However, I was not blessed with skinny genes like you and had to constantly remind myself to eat healthier, and exercise regularly to stay slim. (I am about a size 8 now) There were so many days where I look at girls like you and envy your metabolism and natural beauty (I struggled with mild acne in JC too, now it’s alright). So all I wanna say is, nothing is impossible, and to be completely honest, even now you look so much prettier than a million girls I see on the streets!
Take care, hope you will feel yourself again soon. Do update readers on this!
Hey Leez,
OMG I am sorry for the late reply. I don’t know if you’ll ever read this but thank you so much for your kind comment and your encouragement. I can’t believe how kind my readers have been throughout this, thank you so much. You have no idea how much this encourages me, thank you.
<3
I have a slight update! I have lost 8 kilos through a lot of diet and exercise, and though that is enough I’d still like maybe 2 kilos off. :/ I feel more like myself, the acne is gone, but the insulin resistance is still there so my diet has to be very strict, and I need to keep exercising a lot (even though I really hate it haha.) So yeah… I suppose it’s more diet and exercising for me for a while more! I am seeing my doctor next week for a checkup and hopefully I’ll have good news.
xxxx
Hey Renee, you are one beautiful girl let me just get that out of the way:) I would actually like to ask your advice and thought it would be best to ask right now because it was under the desired topic. So, this past year, 2010, I had the same problem as you. Not the scare, but the confusing weight gain that I had no idea where it all came from. I gained about 30 pounds in like 2-3 months. I’ve lost about 10 of it so far but it’s been a real struggle and I was wondering if you have any helpful tips. Like you, salad also gross’s me out ;P and I feel like maybe if I ate it I would be much healthier? I used to be about 130 pounds, I gained like 34 pounds and was then 164. I am now about 155 and I need help. I have been on the slim-fast “diet”. Not completely but just the shakes in the morning and at night. I don’t eat a large lunch, and I dance 5 days a week because I am on a competition team so it’s not like I don’t get enough exersize. I did get blood tests done to see if something was wrong with my thyroid, but of course, that was still not the answer. I am beginning to think I just have a very slow metabolism. Oh, and I don’t know if this helps, but I am 15
If you have any advice, I will be very happy! Thanks,
Hannah;)
Hey Hannah! I am SO sorry for the late reply, I must’ve missed your comment… Thank you so much for your lovely comment.
OK I think I should do a post on this! But basically, a LOT of exercise, ditch all refined carbs (so only brown rice and wholemeal bread allowed) and then cut out all junk food. It sounds simple but it’s a real struggle everyday, but keep at it and the weight should go off. Plus A LOT of cardio… I have lost 8 kgs so far doing this. I hope it helps! Do let me know how it goes? xx
Hello Renee,
I have some symptoms like PCOS , wondering if i have it after reading your blog..What kind of doctor did you see for this (PVT or GO TO A POLYCLINIC) and should i ask the doc to test me for PCOS? Any idea what test they do.kinda worried atm..do let me know thanks !
Oh dear… go to a gynecologist, love. Good luck! xx
hi renee,
i hope after these months your hormones are balancing out! after reading your post i’m pretty sure i’ve hormonal imbalance too. i did suspect myself having PCOS too, but i hope not :S
my periods have never been regular (like 28-30days) but usually come once in 35 or 42 days. sometimes 60, sometimes even 10 or 21? but that’s only on a few occassions. it’s very unpredictable and usually always late like once in 6 weeks. and when it comes, i’ll feel like i’m dying.
i only developed acne after i was 18, mainly the forehead type, but it got more serious when i was 20 when it attacked my cheeks and chin and with more hard bumps.(now i’m 22) it doesn’t help that my skin rejuvenates very slowly and the marks remain red and angry for a long time even if it’s flat. it’s so annoying when people will always first assume acne to be due to bad hygeine but i can vouch with my life that there’s nothing wrong with my skin care regime because i’ve been monitoring it for the longest time! the only possible reason would be internal reasons, which sadly, i think its hormones.
also, i realised my face seems to have more fine hairs than it was before, i’m not sure if it’s related to hormones.
like your problem, ive also been gaining weight. though i do not exercise and stuff, and i do eat everything, but i’m sure many people out there do eat meat and rice and stuff on the regular and nothing happens? when people keep assuming my weight gain is use to bingeing and for a while i really though i was guilty of this but i realised, i do not take soft drinks or a lot of candy nor really eat A LOT. i’d day my portions are just like a normal girl but somwhow ive been gaining! i did think that maybe metabolism is slowing down but it’s too scary. i do think i have the insulin problem too! i’m not sure if its related, because if i do not eat and am hungry, i’ll start shaking and my mind cant think clear, as if i’m lacking blood sugar. (and that is why trying to eat way less than a normal person’s portion cannot work for me! i’ll feel so sick. and also i’ve gastric problem).
i was thinking, if all i can do is just to tackle the symptoms which show up and not able to balance the hormones for real then it’s pretty pointless because i wont be able to live a normal life.(eg, when have pimple use pimple cream, when gain weight just exercise like mad but if i stop doing it it’s all coming back – i don’t want that. it’s like being a slave to this forever while a normal person gets by it naturally!).
according to http://www.johnleemd.com/store/resource_hormonetest.html#answers i think i have progesterone deficiency, excess androgens and maybe excess estrogen.
may i know what did the doctor suggest to you to tackle the imbalance? would really like to know how to balance hormones for real… except for taking contraceptives..
let me know!
-mel
I have PCOS and it’s really difficult to cope with its manifestations. You feel horrible because of the pimples + the weight gain. I get depressed a lot of times. I don’t understand myself most of the time because of the mood swings, and my relationship with other people is affected. Once I didn’t have my period for 6 months, and when I had it already, I suffered from a terrible dysmenorrhea. :l